I am going to be completely honest here. I really don't enjoy New Years. The whole idea of a 'new year, new me' really winds me up because honestly, how much can you change?!
But then I realised that in 2014 I changed quite a lot. I decided to reach for my dream job as a make up artist, & quit my not so dream job to achieve success (not quite there yet, but I'm sure I will some day soon) which is 100% not something I would do. I mean, for a girl who has zilcho self confidence to pursue a dream that is not completely financially secure, who am I anymore? Luckily, I passed the assessment, my coursework was successful & everything is going pretty well. Hopefully soon I can start handing out my beautiful business cards with confidence that I can do anything with my tools & bring confidence & happiness to other ladies, or men, who ever really!
Which brings me on to my next point, Youtube. I decided this year to start creating videos for the internet, prominently make-up videos, which people might actually see. I have never been so far out of my comfort zone in my entire life & all I was doing was sitting in my bedroom, talking to a camera about my favourite eyebrow pencil & body lotion. Normally I feel uncomfortable in big social situations, like walking into a pub, club or bar, not sat on my bed with the door closed & nobody else around. My first one was just a '50 Facts About Me' video, telling the world what I liked & disliked, but it was the biggest rush when I started to edit it & actually liked what I saw. This was the best, most confident version of myself, & I loved it. Uploading it to the internet was terrifying, but when it hit 100 views (not much I know, but still a small milestone for me) it felt like I had just finished a marathon, except I wasn't out of breath or at all sweaty. So even if sometimes I don't feel up to filming a video, I will continue to do it when I fancy, & when I WANT to.
Obviously, there have been things that I have succeeded a lot less at, I am no fitter now than I was at the start of the year. I have no more friends now than I had in January & this blog hasn't received a post a week like I really wanted it too. But it's hard to put things out there when they have been forced, & sometimes I just don't feel inspired enough to put words to paper (or words to keyboard, should I say?), but at least I am trying & that's pretty good I think.
So, I am going to end this long & rambling post with 3 more 'resolutions' (damn I hate that word), which I am going to TRY to achieve. And yes, trying your hardest is enough.
1) Reach my 2015 reading target of 35 books! It's not 50, but I would be chuffed if I hit that!
2) Travel more, if money allows! Even going to a few more cities in the UK would do.
3) Be more confident. This is a pretty general one, but I want to be more confident about myself & my abilities. I CAN do things! And I need to remember it more often.
Also, the usual apply, get fitter, eat healthier, become totally sexy but they don't count as 'resolutions' (eugh!), because by the beginning of 2016 I will have consumed within the last month or two approximately 100 cocktail sausages, three tins of celebrations & 2 gammon joints with all of the trimmings, & I will not purposely bring myself down because I have enjoyed my christmas, a little more than I should have!
So, what did you do in 2014 that you are proud of? I would really like to know (and don't try & tell me that there's nothing, because you have & I know it!)
Lots of Love,
Hayley!
xxx
